

Getting Out of the Habit of Telling
by Katie Anderson“I love solving problems and for the most part I’m pretty good at it,” says lean coach Katie Anderson, “But the problem is as leaders, as coaches, and frankly as humans, we are far too much in the habit of telling rather than truly developing people’s capability to solve problems.”
Katie’s ten-minute talk from the lean transformation summit in Nashville delves into a different approach. Please take a look at Katie share "three practices that I have put into place to personally get out of the habit of telling.”
October 13, 2020 | 7 Comments
July 8, 2020
Tim -
Thanks for the positive feedback! Glad that you enjoyed the talk and found the tips actionable. I put them in place each and every day! -Katie
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Such an important message, Katie. It's human nature to tell others what to do. It's usually well intended, but it doesn't work.
There are valuable lessons that come from the field of "Motivational Interviewing, including:
Telling others what to do creates pushback (almost like an equal and opposite reaction).
At best, telling people what to do creates compliance, which isn't as sustainable as real change.
This human nature is sometimes described as "the righting reflex" and we can be mindful of it.
http://www.mollykellogg.com/tip-151-taming-your-righting-reflex/
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Thanks for the comments and for sharing the link. I like the term "righting reflex". My practice of taking a pause and connecting with intention is a technique to ask my righting relex to step aside, as Molly writes in the link you shared.
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Katie, thanks! This is great, I appreciate you sharing how you intentional ask questions to help others own their thinking. Love the clarity pause!!!
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Thanks Heath!
I borrowed the term Clarity Pause from Karen Martin. It aptly describes the practice I have used for years to ground myself in my intention in the moments.
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1 | Person AGREES with this comment |
Thanks everyone for the positive feedback on the Lean Talk and your reflections on your personal practice too.
FYI, I put together some more details from the presenation with some slides and additional resources on my blog:
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1 | Person AGREES with this comment |
Katie,
Wonderful content and so relevant for my team and leadership approach. Stealing shamelessly and excited to see what comes!
Thank you
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Daniel - Thanks for the positive feedback! Happy to hear that my 3 practices resonated with you too. Let me know how they help influence you and your team's quality of question asking. -Katie
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Katie, Great talk. This reminds me of the Chinese Proverb: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
In this case you're facilitating their thoughts to find a solution.
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Thanks Jim!
Yes, its about facilitating their thoughts to find a solution...but importantly, to find *their* own solution rather than you trying to guide them to your solution.
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Katie, You have made people who claim that they are leaders in their organisation, to rethink and re evaluate themselves.
Well said !!!!
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Thank you Sivakumar!
I more recently gave a talk at the Lean Summit 2018 on this same topic, which you might be interested in: https://kbjanderson.com/3-tips-for-getting-out-of-the-habit-of-telling-lean-talk-from-the-lean-transformation-summit-2018/
I also wrote a more detailed article about how to ask better questions: https://kbjanderson.com/how-to-ask-effective-questions/
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October 13, 2020 | 7 Comments
July 8, 2020
Katie, really well done and practical tips for us to use in our daily struggle to "coach" not "tell." Old habits are so hard to overcome and step 1 is always admitting there's a problem; but after that you need practical steps to take to begin to correct and I feel like these are 3 we could incorporate easily and quickly into our daily lives. Thanks again and keep up the good work!
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